BLAME IT ON THE MOON

Costa Rica Cost Of Living Update: 1 kilo (2.2 lbs) potatoes- $1.25

Today we have an appointment for a follow-up visit with Rob’s surgeon. His hernia has healed but he is getting some discomfort near the incision. Rob feels that he should have no pain and be able to go back to his Herculean work-out regimen.  Even though other people have said it will take a while, my husband believes his superior Italian genetics should allow him to heal faster than the average mortal.

It’s no surprise that when we arrive at the hospital the waiting room is filled with people.  However, today I come prepared with a few things to keep me busy: Sudoku puzzle, WWII history book, and a roll of toilet paper. I have learned all three are invaluable while visiting this Costa Rican hospital.

After a couple hours, the same doctor who performed Rob’s surgery waves us in. He is still sporting the same Groucho Marx mustache from our last encounter. Rob describes the slight discomfort he is having so the doctor tells him to drop his pants.

“Aqui?” Groucho says as he pokes at a spot just below his scar.

“Yes, there.  How did you know that it hurts right at that spot?”

“Si, el lunes.”

Rob pulls up his pants and asks me if I understood what he said. We mumble back and forth to each other, “What does he mean? Lunes means Monday….what do you think….maybe he’s asking when the surgery was.”  Rob and I negotiate like we are in the middle of a corporate buyout.

My husband insists the man wants to know the date of the surgery, walks over to the desk, and grabs a Dora the Explorer calendar off the wall. None of this makes any sense to me since Groucho is already staring at the file with all the medical information. The frustrated doctor gets up and darts out of the room.

“Great, you just ticked off your surgeon,” I say to Rob. “I knew it wasn’t about the date of the operation.” In a few minutes, the doctor walks back in holding a different calendar in his hands.

“Lunes, si?” he says as he points to the days with a full moon. “The moon,” he says in English.

I take a moment to consider this diagnosis and display, what I imagine is, the typical quizzical expression one might get when learning a celestial body is responsible for residual hernia pain. Remarkably, it’s also the same expression I had when I learned there was no toilet paper in this Costa Rican hospital.

Once again, Rob and I go back and forth over the possible merits of a moon diagnosis.

“Well, there are gravitational pulls” I say. “The tides roll in and out….people’s arthritis gets worse when it rains…why not your hernia with a full moon?”

“Makes perfect sense, I’m a crippled werewolf.” Rob then asks when he can work out. He does this by going into a posing routine similar to one seen on a Mr. Olympia stage.

The doctor leans back in his chair surely wondering why these two nitwits are still in his office, especially the one doing a rear double bicep pose.  “Two months,” he says before escorting us out the door and handing us a prescription for Ibuprofen.  Not inner galactic Ibuprofen, but actual earthly drugs that will likely help with the inflammation.

Once home, Rob collapses on the couch and asks me to pour him a cup of coffee. When
I suggest he do it himself, he explains he can’t…. moon pain requires him to relax for the rest of the day.

It turns out this uncommon diagnosis suits him just fine.

By | 2018-04-15T18:19:36-04:00 October 15th, 2011|Categories: Cost of Living|Tags: , , |36 Comments

About the Author:

Nadine is the author of the best-selling series, Happier Than A Billionaire. Join her as she navigates living as an expat in the sometimes confusing, always beautiful, country of Costa Rica.

36 Comments

  1. Gary January 17, 2013 at 12:29 pm - Reply

    This article made me smile…..how cool!!! Costa Rica…I’m starting the thinking process of possibly retiring to another county. Her’s a concern and maybe with your experience of traveling you might give me some candid insight. I’m 62 and lost my precious wife 3 plus years ago due to an illness. All the blogs I read ususally talk about couples….with that said I would be relocating by myself and am concerned that by being alone might make it more uncertain or complicated in how I may be viewed by locals and folk’s like yourselves, couples. Any thoughts? My very best to you and your’s, be well, Gary

    • admin January 18, 2013 at 8:34 am - Reply

      I meet many single people here and I don’t think that would be a problem for you. Many gringos get together and it is easy to make friends.

      So sorry to hear about your wife. I’m sure things are so different now in your life. Maybe a vacation down here will give you a better understanding on the culture and if it is a place you would even want to live.

      It is not perfect, but I like the adventure and can’t get enough of the wildlife. Seriously, how many places can you life where a howler monkey is staring at you through your window. Pretty darn cool!

  2. Hara Nadine January 22, 2012 at 10:07 am - Reply

    Hi Nadine,
    Can you share the location of the fish sellers? I’m near Tamarindo too and would love to buy some fresh pescado. We are in our house now and have an almost constant stream of visitors (friends) from the US. They all have the same sentiment for us. “Wow, you are both so lucky, I wish I could do that”. Lucky??? Maybe but like you said, the crazier they think we are, the better life gets….I love it here!

    • admin January 22, 2012 at 9:33 pm - Reply

      I was walking along the beach, behind Nogul’s restaurant (not sure if I spelled that right) and that’s where a lot of fisherman had their daily catch. They were selling it right out of their coolers. I would suspect that there are other places as well, but this might be where most of them congregate.

      I love it here as well. Our friends are visiting and just said, “You know…a lot of people look happy around here.” I think that says it all.

  3. Naomi Colb November 2, 2011 at 9:46 pm - Reply

    I enjoyed these posts and look forward to reading the book! I am a San Franciscan who recently relocated to CR. I love the way people actually connect here:)

    • admin November 4, 2011 at 9:31 pm - Reply

      Soon, you will have a book worth of stories yourself.

  4. Naomi Colb November 2, 2011 at 5:15 pm - Reply

    Enjying this blog and looking forward to reading your book! I recently came down here to CR to semi-retire as I still have Skype coaching clients from the US. Loving the open gaze and hearts of the people and the extreme generosity! Pura Vida!!

    • admin November 4, 2011 at 9:31 pm - Reply

      It is truly a friendly country. I lovely place to live. It’s great you can use SKYPE, that way you can work anywhere!

  5. Donna November 1, 2011 at 12:52 am - Reply

    Hi, I know it’s a bit late and you may never read this comment on an older (Oct 15th) note, but I worked as a medical assistant/surgery scheduler for a group of general surgeons here in the States–they did inguinal hernia repairs on a regular basis. I wonder if the doctor meant that a ‘moon’ or lunes–meant 30 days?? I would say that our docs would say that he’ll still have discomfort for at least 6 weeks up to 2 months–I would describe them as ‘twinges’ of pain here and there–nothing severe. I would routinely write notes for their work that stated No Heavy Lifting for at least 6 weeks, and then limiting that to less than 25lbs for up to 2 months, depending on large the repair was. I had two C-sections myself, and I got twinges of pain for months here and there–sometimes it’s just the nerves re-growing together/knitting together. The human body is amazing! Anyway, hope that clears up the ‘lunes’ idea. I enjoy reading your blog, just started in the last few weeks.

    • admin November 4, 2011 at 9:28 pm - Reply

      Thanks so much for the info. I will tell Rob. Of course he thinks he should be perfect by now, he’s one of those kind of guys who thinks he can do anything. Thanks for taking the time to fill me in, always good to get some advice from others.

  6. silvi October 28, 2011 at 6:34 pm - Reply

    Hi Nadine, I recently read your book to prepare myself for a trip to C.R.. I laughed out loud with such abandon that I startled my dogs several times. I’m recommending your book to everyone I know.

    I have a question; is it worth it to bring a laptop on the trip or are there plenty of internet cafes already equipped with pcs?

    • admin October 31, 2011 at 6:25 pm - Reply

      I would leave it home, too much risk of it getting stolen. Who needs that anxiety? Just come down with your bathing suit, sunglasses, and be prepared to have the time of your life.

      Lots of internet cafes here, with headsets so you can use SKYPE to call home. Much better than having to lug a laptop around.

      • silvi November 1, 2011 at 1:11 am - Reply

        Excellent! We’re flying there tomorrow. Thanks for your timely advise.

        • admin November 4, 2011 at 9:28 pm - Reply

          Sure thing! Hope you have a good time.

  7. Laurie October 25, 2011 at 1:43 pm - Reply

    Hi Nadine!! Enjoying your book and your blog…. turns out we kind of have a mutual friend… Kudos to you guys for escaping the ratrace here… would love to do the same someday… Spent last Feb in CR and we’re planning on returning to Playa Guiones
    again this February… would love to meet up with you. It truly is a paradise that you’re living in… Email me privately and I’ll disclose our mutual acquaintance… it’s quite (it’s a small world) coincidence, LOL!

    • admin October 26, 2011 at 2:39 pm - Reply

      I will have to email you. I visited Playa Guiones and loved it. What a beautiful part of the country. We are in the Tamarindo area so if you are ever around, let me know.

  8. Harry October 21, 2011 at 10:43 am - Reply

    I certainly hope Rob recovers from his hernia repair and becomes pain-free. But I bet the surgeon did not profer the fact that 20 to 25% of hernia repairs patients are left with varying degrees of residual, permanent pain/discomfort from the surgery.

    • admin October 26, 2011 at 2:30 pm - Reply

      For all I know, the doctor was probably telling us that, but we just stood there looking stupid as usual. Between the both of us, we understand every third or forth word, so it’s interesting what information we end up leaving with. I swear, I’m sure that doctor is hoping we never come back.

  9. Margie October 21, 2011 at 2:27 am - Reply

    I now have Cat Stevens’/Yusuf’s song “Moon Shadow” running through my head, which is a good thing!!

    • admin October 26, 2011 at 2:28 pm - Reply

      I’m going to start humming that to Rob, although I can see him stretching out this “moon pain” excuse for quite some time.

  10. Tori October 20, 2011 at 7:21 pm - Reply

    My husband and I are in countdown mode til our 2oldest kids (16 and 14) are off to college than seriously consider the suicide shower, fantastic coffee, amazing sunset, dirt road with no sign, no toilet paper paradise you live in as our new home………including our 7 year old in tow. She would morph well in another country!! Love your blog. My hubby and I fight over the ipad every night to get the latest update and live vicariously through you two……..for now anyway!!
    Tori & Paul (Green Bay, WI, USA)

    • admin October 26, 2011 at 2:26 pm - Reply

      Thanks so much!! I hope to keep you laughing, there is always a story brewing down here. Right now my internet, phone, and water is out. UGH!! But suprisingly, I’m happier than I ever was in the office.

  11. Sherri Dunham October 19, 2011 at 2:05 pm - Reply

    LOL! Oh my gosh, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall then. Thanks for the tip about the toilet paper, if/when I go to a public hospital here to have my baby, I’ll be sure to bring to bring that, along with my own towels, sheets, hot water, etc.

    • admin October 26, 2011 at 2:25 pm - Reply

      Yes, bring a suitcase. You never know what you will need in a Costa Rica hospital.

  12. Robert October 18, 2011 at 6:05 am - Reply

    What a great story. I work with the developmentally disabled and years ago worked with a doctor of foreign decent who routinely used betadine to scrub scapes and lacerations and ordered suppositories for anything abdominal. My boss and I came to the silly conclusion that according to this doctor the perfect solution to anything would be a betadine suppository. Hope Rob gets better soon.

    • admin October 26, 2011 at 2:24 pm - Reply

      I like the suppository idea. I am sure if I suggested that to my husband, he will quickly say he is better. Maybe that is the solution to his moon pain.

  13. Carla Rountree October 16, 2011 at 11:55 pm - Reply

    Women get PMS, so men get… moon pain? That is the most hilarious medical diagnosis I’ve ever heard. Hope he feels better with a little rest and relaxed gravitational pull!

    • admin October 17, 2011 at 8:08 pm - Reply

      I should start marking on the calendar when he gets pain. Perhaps this doctor is right. How can you question a guy who looks like Groucho Marx?

  14. Nadine October 16, 2011 at 10:58 am - Reply

    Dora the Explorer calendar… el lunes…. seems totally legit, Advil should definitely cover that. The moon has been pretty bright here, I’m going to call my doctor and shake him down for whatever pills he’s got for a case of the moonie’s.

    • admin October 17, 2011 at 8:07 pm - Reply

      I fear this diagnosis will now be used everytime I ask my husband to do anything around the house. Oh sweetie….can’t….the moon pain…..

      This will surely happen when I ask him to clean the sink after he shaves. The moon pain will definitely kick in then.

  15. Merry October 15, 2011 at 7:54 pm - Reply

    What a funny story! Over here in the states we had a full moon for three consecutive nights; assuming you have the same moon, no wonder there was so much gravitational pull on Rob’s hernia. The moon was so bright, I could actually read by the light.

    You need a script for Ibuprofen in CR?

    Hopefully your Italian Hercules Husband (IHH) will be at full throttle once again after the 2 mos are over.

    I have to read this blog entry again…I can just picture the two of you. I could use another LOL.

    • admin October 17, 2011 at 8:05 pm - Reply

      Don’t need a script for it but it costs a lot here for that high of a mg dose (400mg). I believe we once paid 6 bucks for 6 pills. It’s strange why this is so much because other meds are so cheap here.

  16. Brett October 15, 2011 at 11:22 am - Reply

    Toilet Paper LOL. One thing I have learned from my travels is to ALWAYS, ALWAYS, carry a roll of toilet paper. Because you never know.

    I hope he get better soon.

    • Jennifer October 15, 2011 at 6:21 pm - Reply

      Yes, the toilet paper! I also learned from living in the Dominican Republic, to always carry TP in my backpack while on day trips anywhere. If a place did have TP, it was rougher than sandpaper, and as always, you had to throw it in a disgustingly smelly trash can, not the toilet. Can you flush TP in CR?

      • admin October 17, 2011 at 8:04 pm - Reply

        Most places you have to toss in in a garbage can. Whenever we ask about renting a house, it’s the first thing I ask, “Can I flush the toilet paper?” So many places you still can’t, especially at the beach. YUCK!!

    • admin October 17, 2011 at 8:02 pm - Reply

      Absolutely! I now have some in my car next to the sunscreen.

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