Still Looking for Rush Limbaugh in Costa Rica

Rush Limbaugh

Costa Rica Cost of Living Update: Fake Cuban (Nicaraguan) cigars sold on Tamarindo beach—$10

Back in 2010, Rush Limbaugh said he would move to Costa Rica in five years if some of President Obama’s policies were ever implemented. It’s now 2016, and I still can’t find Rush anywhere around the neighborhood.

One of the best things about living in Costa Rica is being removed from the political climate of any given presidential election. However, we do still have news channels that, for better or for worse, broadcast all the latest political events. The more I watch, the more it becomes apparent that they rarely report any happy stories, only hours of repeated headlines and opinions that lead to heated arguments, making me want to cancel my cable subscription. It’s as if the sky is falling.

This bizarre phenomenon occurs every four years. And every four years people threaten that they will be moving to Costa Rica. I’m not sure why they use this as a threat. Rarely people threaten to visit Costa Rica. In fact, the people coming off the airplane aren’t threatening at all. They are the most excited people you’ll ever meet.

When you are removed from a political season, you tend to spend more time on the happier side of life. Not that politics should be ignored, it’s just that when it starts consuming someone’s entire existence, they end up becoming that person yelling so loud spittle comes out the sides of his or her mouth. And if you are that person, it’s okay. I think I can help. Especially if you’re the one threatening to move to Costa Rica if—insert political candidate—wins.

You will be welcome here. Costa Ricans and expats are some of the friendliest people I meet, but they’ll be somewhat confused by your spittle. In fact, I rarely see a Costa Rican spittle; it’s as rare as Rodrigo my repairman showing up on time. They have their own issues with their political system, but when it’s all said and done, they give them the patented Tico shrug. This shrug is also accompanied by a forty-five-degree head tilt, followed by them saying, “Pura Vida!” All of it adds up to one meaning… eh, my life is still great. I like this gesture; it’s the same one I get from a teller when she explains the bank ran out of money.

Howler Monkey

This slower pace of life, combined with an insatiable need to enjoy oneself, makes it easier to see through the foggy lens of a heated political debate. It’s understandable that you need to be heard. Take the howler monkey, the loudest land animal on the planet. You hear them in the morning, howling away across the canopy like they’re contesting a city council race. They need to be heard and acknowledged as well, but even they know when to give it a rest by taking a siesta the rest of the day, coming alive again by late afternoon. Balance seems to be what makes nature tick, and we are wired the same way.

The animals that really have it all figured out are the sloths. Rarely a peep out of them. Their maximum ground velocity is six feet per minute, which is about the speed of my husband when I ask him to unload our dishwasher.

Sloth-Costa-Rica

A sloth sleeps fifteen hours a day, urinating and defecating once a week. This provides them plenty more time to do what they love… which is more sleeping. It’s an admirable trait. Maybe people should limit their news to what they can gather off their cell phones while urinating and defecating. Just enough time to get the facts because let’s face it, most of these political opinions belong in the crapper anyway.

Soon it will all come to an end, and we will move on with our lives. Until then, I’ll try to stay on the happier side of life and not obsess about the things I just can’t control.  I’ll smile at the teller after learning I can’t withdraw any money from the bank. I’ll give Rodrigo a cold glass of water when he shows up three days late. I’ll even try not to yell at Rob while watching him take seven hours to unload the dishwasher.

I’ve learned that the quality of my life is directly proportional to how grateful I am. In fact, there is much to be grateful for as long as you are pointed in the right direction. This has not been an easy transformation for me. I’m the person who once mistook a kinkajou for a burglar. My natural tendency is to think the sky is falling.

But that hasn’t happened here yet, and today the horizon is full of fluffy clouds, pelicans, and a single white egret. Perhaps news channels should broadcast a little more of that every day, and there might be a little less spittle in the world.

I’m still looking for Rush Limbaugh on the beaches in Costa Rica. If he is here, I probably didn’t recognize him because instead of screaming his head off, he’s chilling in a hammock while smoking a cigar. He’s no longer watching the twenty-four-hour news cycle, and finally seeing people for what we really are… one giant, dysfunctional family.

So vote for your guy and vote with your conscience. As for Rush Limbaugh and me, I’m glad we decided to #VoteCostaRica!

By | 2018-04-15T18:19:14-04:00 August 6th, 2016|Categories: Uncategorized|Tags: , , , , , |28 Comments

About the Author:

Nadine is the author of the best-selling series, Happier Than A Billionaire. Join her as she navigates living as an expat in the sometimes confusing, always beautiful, country of Costa Rica.

28 Comments

  1. JG August 17, 2016 at 2:34 am - Reply

    Enjoyed this post very much

  2. mycountryepoque August 11, 2016 at 8:46 am - Reply

    beautiful blog you have got. you are living the dream of your life. Keep it up guys. I will continue to follow your very interesting blog. Well done!

  3. William Scott Bayha August 8, 2016 at 12:31 am - Reply

    Terri Frey, any guidance you can offer on what needs to be done to bring a dog into CR from the States? Post here, or call. Thanks Bill 830-307-0402. Guidance greatly appreciated!

    • Terri Frey August 8, 2016 at 9:10 am - Reply

      I know you need to get paperwork from a USDA vet and there is a particular time frame. I am just starting the process, going through my regular vet. Ask your vet but leave plenty of time before you go.

      • Nadine Hays Pisani September 7, 2016 at 8:37 am - Reply

        We had to have our papers stamped within thirty days of our flight. I knew one couple that had issues because they got their USDA papers stamped forty days before the flight. Hope that helps.

    • Nadine Hays Pisani September 7, 2016 at 8:36 am - Reply

      Hi William, I have a chapter on doing that in my last book, the 2016 edition of The Costa Rica Escape Manual. It will definitely help.
      https://www.amazon.com/Costa-Rica-Escape-Manual-How-ebook/dp/B01BI04IIU/ref=zg_bs_159973011_50

  4. Terri Frey August 7, 2016 at 9:55 pm - Reply

    As always – very funny. My husband & I are finally retired & have made plans to spend 6 wks this winter in CR (after visiting 12 times). We are even bringing our little dog which we got 7 yrs ago when our big dog died bc we knew this was in our future. We too have said if Trump does win we’ll just stay.

  5. Merry August 6, 2016 at 9:09 pm - Reply

    You’re lucky that the fat pig, Limbaugh hasn’t infested CR. We’re still stuck w/ him here in the states. As USA citizens are you voting for our next President?
    If so, I hope you vote for Hillary…she’s not perfect, no one is. I can’t stand trump and glad to see him sliding in all the polls!

    • Barbara Stelmah August 6, 2016 at 9:29 pm - Reply

      Please leave your negativity in the U.S. I believe Nadine is too kind to tell you the same. Plus, it’s none of your business if she votes let alone who she votes for. Not saying that I don’t agree with you!

      • Nadine Hays Pisani September 7, 2016 at 8:57 am - Reply

        It’s all in good fun. Politics is a hot topic right now, and I can’t even tell you how many people email me because they are moving here because of the political climate. I just want them to know they are welcome. Too many fun things to do here than get caught up in all of it.

    • Nadine Hays Pisani September 7, 2016 at 8:56 am - Reply

      lol… it was a fun post to write since everyone who has a problem in the states always picks Costa Rica as a place to run to. And it’s a great place to be, lots of this kind of stuff just rubs right off us.

  6. Deborah Hearn August 6, 2016 at 7:43 pm - Reply

    You won’t see Rush anytime soon, He has a critically ill wife (they never really go into her illness but she has had 2 ovaries removed) but maybe the move would be good for her. So for the time being he is happy in Palm Beach. You may get Whoopie Goldberg, Rosie O’Donnell, Miley Cyrus and Al Sharpton for a few if Trump is elected. Haven’t heard anything from the other side as far as moves go. This goes on every election year I am afraid and no one ever leaves! I think they just need publicity.

    • Nadine Hays Pisani September 7, 2016 at 8:58 am - Reply

      Every election they threaten to move here Deb. You would think half the population of the United States would already be here.

  7. Marlene Paul August 6, 2016 at 1:22 pm - Reply

    So true!!!!

  8. Barbara Stelmah August 6, 2016 at 1:14 pm - Reply

    You have gently and as always humorously hit the nail on the head! LOVE your emerging look at life!

  9. Ann Ellison August 6, 2016 at 12:08 pm - Reply

    Great post. I always enjoy your posts.

  10. Travelguy92@msn.com August 6, 2016 at 11:51 am - Reply

    Great article:). I was hoping to do Febuary in Costa Rica. Someone mentioned Jaco Beach. What is your opinion of it and what would you recommend for a months stay. Thanks a bunch!!!

    • Nadine Hays Pisani September 7, 2016 at 9:01 am - Reply

      Jaco is a fun, touristy town. And great if you don’t plan on renting a car. Not sure where you would stay for a month, but I would start emailing realtors that offer rental services.

  11. William Scott Bayha August 6, 2016 at 11:25 am - Reply

    Ex-New Jersey Nadine, I love your writing. I am making the CR conversion soon after years of ultimatum-ing myself to do so. Like you have become, I am a writer in the disguise of a very stressed O_U_T business and commercial real estate loan broker oftentimes smokin’ hopium and earning wish-come when my commission only performance-based (LOL) compensation disappears like a Costa Rican mist when my lovely deals fall, not together, but apart. Actually, I have just written a very funny (read “therapeutic”) Hamilton-esque hip hop poem on the perils of business opportunities. I should share it with you. And like you, I originally hail from the Garden State. And pessimism and paranoia are in my DNA. It does make me wickedly funny, but also not so patient or so loving at times. Many times. You and your husband are my role models for life change. Maybe I can meet you both one day soon.

    William the Worrier of Texas.

    • Nadine Hays Pisani September 7, 2016 at 9:02 am - Reply

      Thank you for such kind words. Yes, Jersey-ians (is that a word?) have a unique sense of humor. Heavy with sarcasm, but means no harm. And you can easily distract us with an egg and taylor ham sandwich.

  12. Sallie Christian-Carnal August 6, 2016 at 10:57 am - Reply

    This is EXACTLY what I needed today! Thank you!

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