High Altitudes

By | 2021-08-18T10:00:00-04:00 August 18th, 2021|Categories: Mountain House|Tags: , , |

Nantahala Lake

“Trust me, this house looks great online,” Rob says before turning up the car radio. It’s a country station, and Rob hums to a song he never heard before.

The highway connecting Georgia and Western North Carolina has incredible views of the Blue Ridge Mountains, along with billboards that put to rest any question about the locals’ feelings toward the second amendment.

This road is the Rodeo Drive for gun lovers, and businesses have jumped on the theme. Like the one I just passed, realtors dressed like 007 gripping pistols. “Licensed To Sell,” it read.

Across the street, another realtor in a snazzy pantsuit promotes her attributes, “Hunter, Wife, Realtor.” Annie Oakley certainly adds a level of suspense to her open houses.

Drug and GunNext is a pharmacy advertisement designed for the multitaskers in all of us; a picture of a prescription bottle with “Drug and Gun, Refills and Reloads” scribbled above it.

Although these are quick to get my attention, I enjoy the smaller signs stuck in the grass—the kind a person might use to alert a yard sale. One store planted a dozen “Gun, Ammo, Gun, Ammo” hand-painted signs along the highway. I repeat them quickly, sounding like a gangster rapper.

There is one notable profession not advertising along this highway: lawyers. Surprising, because they wrote the playbook on cheesy billboards. Like “Need a DUI Attorney? Call 1-888-GET-SLOSHED.” Or “Injured? Call the Sledgehammer.” I’d love to toss my hat into the mix at their next marketing meeting. “Shot Your Hunting Buddy in the Ass? Call 1-800-Im-LosingMyHouse.”

Rob is oblivious to these billboards, only excited to find Dunkin’ Donuts, a treat we haven’t had for fourteen years. I can live another fourteen without eating a Boston Kreme, but Rob is already turning into the parking lot. Some things are a reminder of a life we had so long ago. Strange and familiar at the same time. He asks for a large coffee, which is the size of a mop bucket. He then orders enough donuts to fill a pizza-sized cardboard box. Everything seems bigger here than in Costa Rica. And if we’re not careful, so will Rob and I be in a few months.

I know little about firearms, as you can tell from me calling it a pistol in the 007 billboard. We owned a gun in Costa Rica, and I still can’t tell you the model. It had a black handle, and the pointing thing was silver. It went pew pew when shot.

I fade out whenever anyone discusses them. The same way when my accountant explains a new tax code. These facts fly on a carrier pigeon from my brain destined for someone who cares about changes to depreciation rates.

Growing up in New Jersey, firearms never came up in conversations. But it’s clear I better learn a few things if I’m assimilating to mountain life. I must be a chameleon. Their pigmented cells change color depending on light, temperature, or mood. If cold, they darken to absorb more sunlight. When frisky, a male turns purple to attract the hottie ignoring him on an adjacent branch. I’ll need a color that stops me from saying anything stupid, which is bound to happen since saying stupid things has been a trademark of my life here on earth. (Razzmatazz—a reddish-pink, similar to rose but with a smidgen more magenta.)

Chameleon

“Hey, look, a turkey!” Rob says as it waddles in front of the car.

Pine trees tower on either side of the street. Their branches reach across, forming a green tunnel one might see in a Disney movie. If I were in a good mood, the story would be happy with singing princesses and talking bunny rabbits. But I’m depressed and anxious and hungry, wondering if I should eat that Boston Kreme in the back seat. An explosive bout of Irritable Bowel Syndrome seems appropriate right about now.

What am I doing here? How did Rob convince me to buy a house in the backwoods? Rob shuts off the radio and starts the How Great It’s Going to Be speech.

“Wow, I bet we see deer.”

“Smell that fresh air.”

“Nice and shady. You always complained about the heat at the beach.”

“Simple livin’. Can’t beat it.”

Can’t beat it? I want to beat the optimism right out of him.

The sky brightens as the road bends, landing us on the shores of Nantahala Lake. Cumulus clouds reflect off the surface, and fish—the size of raccoons—jump from the water like dolphins. We pull over and walk to the edge. The water is so clear we see straight to the bottom.

Nantahala Lake

The surrounding mountains explain why I felt my ears pop. We are standing at 3200 feet, which is about the altitude of the house we rented in Grecia, Costa Rica. That house was where I saw a kinkajou for the first time and where I experienced the magic of living in the woods.

The morning fog spirals vertically from the forest like campfires, and I take a deep breath, noting a shift in my mood. I feel pretty good. It must be the altitude. Maybe it’s the smell of powdered sugar coming from Rob’s t-shirt.

bunnyA kingfisher dives into the lake but returns empty-handed, shaking his plumed head and scattering droplets of water around us. I hear a sound to my right. A brown bunny rabbit jumps from a bush, shaking her fluffy tail and perking her ears as if waiting for a response from me. I approach, but she zig-zags away.

While standing alongside this lake, my brain flips a switch—I imagine a life here. One that zig-zags me into the woods, fly-fishing, and moving away from the hustle and bustle of life. A fairytale involving bunny rabbits and songs in the forest. A handsome prince, promising me that everything will be okay.

Happiness rides on neuro pathways. Some people have more extensive networks than others, and can refill and reload a good mood with ease. But that doesn’t mean the rest of us are out of luck. I was sad once and became happy in Costa Rica. It took leaving everything behind to begin a new adventure. And during that move, I realized that when you’re unhappy and can’t escape its grasp, it’s best to go search for it.

But happiness will never throw a ticker-tape parade or shoot fireworks over your head. It’s subtle, only a graceful feeling in a strange place. When the air you breathe expands your chest like a hot-air balloon, lifting you on your tippy-toes, and seeing everything from a different perspective. And if you pay attention, happiness will bring along her sidekick, curiosity. He’s never subtle. He’s loud, courageous, and horseback rides on steep mountain passes. He’s the gatekeeper right before something incredible happens. You can’t get anywhere fun without him. And he finally showed up for me, appearing in this foggy forest, miles away from the place I thought would be my forever home.

“Things happen gradually, then suddenly,” said Hemingway. I’m gradually falling for this lake, but I don’t want it to be a fling. I want a monogamous relationship of mutual respect. The kind where he opens the car door and gives me his jacket when I’m cold. If I do fall in love with this place, I want it to love me back. I don’t want my heart broken.

And that’s a lot to ask from a lake in the woods.

(Follow our whacky journey on Facebook Adventures of Happier Than A Billionaire)

 

I Want to Move to Costa Rica

By | 2020-07-19T17:01:58-04:00 July 19th, 2020|Categories: The Happier House, Uncategorized|Tags: , , |

The Happier House

Costa Rica Cost of Living Update: Electric Bill (pool and multiple air conditioners during the rainy season) — $204

People are Googling about moving to Costa Rica. Inevitably my face pops up, holding a watermelon…

Watermelon

or smiling on a boat.

Sailboat

While scanning the images, I found one of Rob’s bloody hand from falling off his scooter. And another of me boogie boarding in ankle-deep water with the concentration of a North Korean Olympian.

Boogie Boarding

The only reason I’m Googling myself is to find out why so many people are contacting us. The email subject line is always, “I want to move to Costa Rica.” And I believe I found it.

An episode of EXPATS (a show we appeared in) has gone viral. It shows my husband pushing me on a swing and us walking hand in hand on the beach. Is that an accurate representation of our life? Absolutely, but so is him ripping his hand open after falling off his scooter, twice, once while delivering my stool sample to a doctor.

blooy hand

 

During the EXPATS show, I mentioned Rob’s friend questioning our search for a happier life. If you’re looking for a warm and fuzzy conversation, don’t expect a snarly guy from Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, to deliver one.

“What’s different about you?” he said, “Why should you be happy? We’re all miserable.”

But that wasn’t good enough, and perhaps that’s how you’re feeling today. All this stress has you gripping the ropes, hoping the bell rings before the referee counts to ten. Maybe moving to Costa Rica was on your mind way before the events of this year. You want to set this plan in motion, and now you’re Googling “I want to move to Costa Rica.”

Take my hand… I got you on this.

My life hasn’t been the same since we started our adventure. This country sparks inspiration every day. Lately, the sunsets have a lavender hue and remind me of macarons with orchid buttercream. It feels like falling in love inside a French bakery.

lavender sunset

With Rob’s green thumb, our garden continues to expand. He’s bending bougainvillea over a backyard staircase, turning the passageway into a hobbit village. I went there to watch butterflies when I spotted a female coatimundi. It appears Walter (our resident coatimundi and papaya thief) has found a girlfriend, a little furry companion to snuggle with under the sunset.

Walter the Coati

Sometimes I wonder where I’d be if I didn’t go on this adventure. If we listened to Rob’s friend who told us that there was nothing special out there.

“Why should you be happy?” he said.

But even during the stressful times, I still believed there were swings under palm trees. And maybe that’s all you need to know. Believe when others don’t. Find the people who are doing what you want to do. Nothing is impossible, even if your timeline has changed. Even when the world has paused.

Rob said it best in the EXPATS episode, “Treat life like an adventure. Get that spirit back you had when you were a kid.”

I rediscovered mine in a place with butterflies and macaron sunsets. Yours may be on a rooftop deck in Manhattan, or a snowy ski chalet in Switzerland. All I know is it wasn’t where I was standing before this journey, in front of that friend, telling me that unhappiness was inevitable.

Fall back in love, go for the gold, and let this year be the one that made all the difference. Lean on the ropes while waiting for the bell to ring.

And when it does, come out swinging.

(My journey started with my first book, Happier Than A Billionaire. I’ve written more about moving to Costa Rica, and You can find them here. If you are looking for Rob and I talking about our life in Costa Rica, you can find the EXPATS episode here.)

 

MORNING MOMENTS OF ZEN

By | 2018-04-15T18:19:21-04:00 January 29th, 2014|Categories: Nature|Tags: , , , , , |


Costa Rica Cost Of Living Update:  Yummy Avocados— 72 cents Per Pound

My mornings are a lot different than when I was working. There are no more alarm clocks, snowy cars to brush off,  traffic, or stopping for a quick cup of coffee at a gas station.

I’m not rushed, aggravated, anxious, sad, exhausted, or any of the many things I felt during that forty-five-minute drive to work. Now I wake up and can’t wait to start the day. Somehow, someway, I fixed what was ailing me.

I don’t have the perfect recipe for happiness, but I think it might have something do with being awake… wide awake. Present for all the good and the bad in one’s life. The recipe might also include watching a bunch of monkeys outside your window every morning. They never look rushed, aggravated, anxious, sad, or exhausted during their morning commute.

Monkeys can teach us a lot, one of which is we’re going to have to hang upside down to reach the sweetest flowers. I know exactly how that feels. It was when I stretched the farthest that I finally found what I was looking for.

HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH?

By | 2018-04-15T18:19:37-04:00 August 23rd, 2011|Categories: Cost of Living|Tags: , |


Costa Rica Cost Of Living Update: Landline phone bill that includes excellent DSL internet service-$45

As I sit here watching two baby monkeys wrestle one another outside my window, it reminds me how lucky I am, how rich I feel. It doesn’t cost me a dime and can’t imagine how a material object can replace the feeling I have now. My life (ironically… with less possessions than ever), is so abundantly full I can’t think of anything I want. So it got me thinking…how much is enough?

Why would a billionaire—someone with all the resources to live a life of insane privilege—steal another couple million.  For example, take Tyco. That CEO made over 100 million dollars a year but had the company pay for his extravagant lifestyle. And it wasn’t just private jets with cute flight attendants serving chocolate covered strawberries. He went the extra mile. He had the company pay for a $6,000 shower curtain and a $15,000 dog umbrella stand. But just when I thought this guy really knows how to live, for his wife’s birthday (disguised as a shareholders meeting) the party featured an ice sculpture of the Statue of David urinating Stolichnaya vodka.  I can do without that umbrella stand, but a urinating ice sculpture is as close to heaven as you are going to get in my opinion. (more…)

HAPPINESS AND TOO MUCH STUFF

By | 2018-04-15T18:19:55-04:00 March 31st, 2011|Categories: Cost of Living|Tags: , |

Costa Rica Cost Of Living Update: 4 ounce jar of Parmesan cheese at the beach- $8

Even though I am moving from one furnished house to another, I found that things stick to me like static cling.

I thought I kept my life simple… if simple was defined by three suitcases of books, a partially functioning fax machine, and a junk drawer that has enough gadgets and doo-dads to install that waterless composting toilet my husband keeps raving about.

Moving is a great reminder that we all accumulate too many things, and happiness is usually aligned with owning less.

So now I’ll attempt to thin out my belongings and get back to why I moved here in the first place. But to the dismay of my husband, I’m keeping the ABBA CD.  It’s not my fault he is incapable of appreciating aluminum foil-wrapped Swedish pop icons.

 

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